If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
