She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
