I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
