The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
