He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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