idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
