Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
