finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
