It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize