my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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