I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
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I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize