hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
