break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I will be naked everywhere
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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