I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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