im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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