Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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