Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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