We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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