How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
