She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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