do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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