the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
