We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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