Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
