After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
