i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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