He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
