I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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