This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
