Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
