Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
