Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize