you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
