the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
