i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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