I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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