I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
