i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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