READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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