I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
