i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
