Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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