the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
