Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
