worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
