Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
