last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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