just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
