What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
