That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
