Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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