what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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