So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
