There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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