That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
