Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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