My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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