I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
