The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
