Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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