were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
