Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
