His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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